Monday, November 28, 2011

Celebrating Advent 2011

Being Catholic this new liturgical year is big for us. We have a new translation for the mass. A better translation of the Latin, which speaks to our faith. This past Sunday was the first Sunday of Advent in the Roman calender. And we have finally, as a family, got the Advent thing started the way I wanted to.

When I was a child my sister and I always made an Advent calender. And my mother little the advent wreath candles every night. I am not a crafty person, at all. I'm not I don't like making things and doing art projects. I do in theory but not in actuality. However. I am very adamant about having an advent calender, not a December calender. This year advent is a full lunar month, 28 days and so I made a 28 day calender. Yes It does look like a 8 year old made it, but I'm proud of it dang it! And I made my own Advent wreath, because I didn't want to spend money on one, so I made one for 6 bucks.

So for my calender I drew a nativity scene on a poster board. then I cut out pieces of paper that would serve as the shape for doors. I placed them over the images I wanted to reveal and put double sided tape on top of that. Then I took another poster board put it on top. then I cut out the door shapes, and finally I decorated the front of the poster board and glue and taped the two pieces together.

For my advent wreath, I bought a metal circle for making a floral wreath. My husband, using wire, attached plastic candle holders. then I wrapped an ever green garland and hot glued fake holly leaves to decorate. Evergreen, stands for life and eternity (God), and the Holly leaves foreshadow the crown of thorns. I wanted the decorations to have meaning.

Why did I choose this life?

I have been reading so many blogs lately about mothers feeling run-down, depleted, defeated, and exhausted. I'm sure some of this is partly due to the holidays. Mothers, stay at home mothers in particular, are in charge of the holiday gatherings, activities, decorations, prepartions, and food. It is overwhelming. But I think there is more to it than that. Moms in general have just been venting on their blogs about how hard and unpleasant it is to be moms...

So I was think about this and how I identify with them. The strive for perfectionism, except for me I strive for mediocrity. I haven't reached a point were I can strive for perfection. Not just that, dealing with the day to day horror of children fighting, mess making, dinner making, dealing with husbands, and, the big one, being pregnant, or having a new born. These things sound terrible. Why would anyone want to live this life of constant self sacrifice and sleep deprivation and serving people who don't usually appreciate it?

I love it. I do. I love this life of trying to find room in a place that seems to be full. Ok I'll admit that some times life seems tough and awful, but compared to the times it's not, wow. I had a friend who doesn't have kids say to me, "Wow, that seems really hard. You don't get any time off at all." Yes, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I think, "I wish I could just sleep all day." But who doesn't think that sometimes. Sometimes I wish I could just escape. Have you never fantasized about up and leaving work for the day? Some parts of motherhood are a lot like a regular job.

But I doubt any career will belly laugh when you make a funny face. I doubt any job will bring you a drawing of you wearing a pink dress. I doubt any portion of money will hold your face and say, "I lub you."

Those moments are to die for, and I live them every day. Everyday I have a baby, a tot, and a kid, who tell me they love me, things I already know, and things I have never heard before. I love being a mom, and I dread when I won't have a baby, a tot, and a kid, because this life fits me so well right now, it's hard to imagine life without them. Sure I'll have more time to myself, but I won't have time with them, that's something I'm not ready for. I have always dreamed of being a mom, and this is greater than anything I dreamed.