I now have jeans, whites (washed warm), brights, whites, and yellows (washed cold), blacks, blues, and grays (washed cold), and reds, browns, and dark yellows (washed cold).
My piles and piles of laundry washed every day. Sorted and put away, almost every day. Mountains of laundry baskets and hills of socks. This is my art. Amid all the monotony and the repetition and the messes, this is where I express myself.
I never thought I would be reduced to this. I imagined being the perfect wife and house keeper and mother, with plenty of time for writing, reading, painting, sewing, and scrap booking. Let me tell you how in shape and trim I imagined I would be. The body sacrificing is the other side of the coin. I have aged more than my counterparts. My body has been stretched out. It's been trampled down. The life has nearly been sucked out of it. All of this has been for those beings I call my children.
I am not going to lie. My day to day life is pretty boring, a little lazy, and incredibly frustrating. This is not what I signed up for. So this is what I am left with: the anti-climatic and definably mundane life of a stay at home mother, who doesn't have her ducks in a row but rather a circus in tow. How is it I am so thankful for this and even think that others should join me in this pursuit?
So When I die these children make me immortal on this earth. That's not why I had them, but it is the plain and simple truth. They will go out into the world and change it. Each life matters and their lives have already changed the course of human history. How many people have been affected by my children in some way? It's the butterfly effect. They have changed me. They have humbled me. They have taught me that I am not the center of the world.
What's crazy is the more kids I have, the more love I give! The more love is exchanged! The more abundant is my life. I have so much more than I had 12 years ago. It is so strange to think of myself without my six crazy loud incorrigible hooligans.
It seems as though my husband an I are always brought to the brink. We come to a point we think, we can't give any more. There is nothing left. Then another life appears inside our own and then we find so much extra. The extra seems to come from nothing as if it comes just to nurture the new life.
This is motherhood. This adventure, which will never be regretted and which will live on to the end of the world and beyond.