Delivered on Land?

I finally had my first dry birth. It was completely unintentional.

On Wednesday, I woke up at about 5 in the morning with some strong contractions. They were painful enough that I had to concentrate on relaxing to deal with them. I knew that even if I was in labor at this point the best thing to do was to try to sleep as much as I could, for the contractions could stop, and, if they didn't, I would need as much energy as possible. I got up and took a shower at 7 to see how my body would react. My contractions kept on, somewhat erratically. I called my Certified Professional Midwife, who works with my Certified Nurse Midwife, at 7:30 to let her know what was happening. My contractions were about 10 minutes apart.

Every birth is different. This birth my contractions, even in early labor, hurt very badly, so perhaps I was already in active labor. I follow a pseudo Bradly approach to labor. I just try to relax all my muscles as I contact.

 I cleaned my kitchen. I made chocolate chip cookies. Then I decided that standing in the kitchen was just not the way to deal with contractions. and I sat down. In retrospect I would have filled the pool at this point. I had 3 wonderful water births with my other kids. For some reason I was still worried that the contractions would slow down or stop.

Contractions were still about 9 minutes apart. At that point my contractions were so painful that I was coping on my hands and knees. Karen decided to call Christina the CNM. We know at this point something is going to happen. We are thinking it will happen in the next couple hours. I had a contraction, then went to the bathroom, had a contraction in there, came out and had another contraction.

Hands and knees. My husband was trying to fill the pool, but he kept running into problems. I thought I heard him say that he was going to just start filling the pool with buckets. My contractions were so painful at this point that I started to think that I wouldn't be able to do this for another hour. I asked to get in the water, but the pool didn't have water. I was stuck almost immovable on the floor. Now the pain was so great that I felt nauseous. I asked for a bucket, in case I needed to throw up. My good friend Erin mentioned later that I was probably going through transition. It was so caotic that no one at the time thought anything of my nausea. I sure didn't.

My contractions had gone from erratic 6-9 minute intervals to 1-2 minute intervals in 2 minutes.Then, I'm still on my hands and knees and fully dressed, my water breaks. I panicked! I was not expecting my water to break even though I was in so much pain. What flashed in my mind was that usually when my water breaks I'm already pushing the baby out.

Now I had to push. I needed to. Karen tried to help me get my pants off, and I couldn't move because of the contraction. Some how we got my pants mostly off, and I pushed hard and kept pushing until the baby's head was out. Karen told me to stop pushing and to wait for another contraction. It took all my concentration to stop, and it wasn't for long. When I started pushing the shoulders out, I wasn't sure if I could take the pain, but I knew I couldn't stop. I had to finish.

Karen caught the baby. She declared the baby a girl. She passed my baby to me through my legs and had me lay down. All I could think was, thank God! I don't have to have another contraction.

What was different about delivering on land, so to speak, as opposed to the water, was that my contractions near the end were closer together and way more painful, and my transition time was so much faster than any of my waterbirths. That could have been this birth, but I know that water tends to ease contractions and lengthen birth times. Also my bottom was sore for the first time after a birth, and I never felt sore before, not even when I tore the first time I gave birth. This was a great birth. I still prefer to deliver in water.

The Bradley Method (seems to be right on the nose)

I have never taken a Bradley Class. In fact, I have never even been tempted too. I bet I could benefit from it, but honestly I just don't like things like birth classes. I much prefer to do things myself, and quite honestly, that does tend to mean they are not done as properly, as they would have been if I had had the instruction.

All this being said, I do think if someone wants to have a natural birth, they should take a Bradley Class. Actually I think they should definitely take one if they are having a hospital birth. Only because the instructor will be able to guide you to having a natural birth in the hospital, which is very difficult, even in hospitals that claim to do natural births.

To a doctor natural could mean a lot of different things. It could mean delivering without an epsiotomy. It could mean delivering without pain medication. It could mean birth starts on its own, without induction. But to me and to the Bradley people, and to the community of natural birth people out there, natural child birth means birth that starts, continues and ends the way it has since before women started to use doctors for delivery. Meaning a birth that begins on it's own. The mother labors in the way she feels most comfortable, but never flat on her back (never!), standing, walking, maybe in a tub, on her hands and knees rocking back and forth. Then delivering the baby in several different positions (never with her feet in stirrups) such as: reclined 45 degrees, on her knees, on hands and knees, on her side, standing, or squatting. Then the baby comes out without assistance, in most cases but not all, and the mother then is immediately able to hold her baby, with the cord still attached. And in many cases the mother can breast feed immediately, which can facilitate the expulsion of the placenta.

Back to the Bradley Method. When I was pregnant with my first, I read Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. It formed my first perceptions of childbirth. Then I had my baby and found that not everything I read happened the way the author said it would. So although I was still greatly influenced by it, I kind of let it fall to the way side of my brain. Then as I had more children, and learned more about childbirth, and talked to more people, I found something amazing. I have realized that Bradley got it right.

If you read the book I read, the author goes through the physiology of child birth, how to prepare for it, and then discusses how to deal with childbirth. The physiology is scientific. I goes through everything your body does and the baby does during childbirth, things that I have only affirmed through out the years in separate research. Then I encountered the hypnobirthing fad. Hypnobirthing is not the same as the Bradley relaxation method but it's the same idea, concentrated relaxation while contracting. It works. People rave about hypnobirthing.

Finally we reach the kegal. Kegals are important for many reasons, which are explained in the Bradley book as well. If your pelvic floor muscles, also called PC muscles and kegal muscles, are properly toned, your delivery will be better, and you will be more comfortable through out pregnancy and through out your postpartum life. Also it will prevent uterine prolapse, and incontinence, things that affect women as they get older. There are people out there that don't care about the kegal muscles and there are people who are insane about kegal muscles and do kegal exercises excessively. I read a fascinating article today call Why You Should Stop Doing Kegals. It explains that the muscles need to be toned and the correct length, not super tight. doing excessive kegal exercises could cause the same problems as having flabby undertoned muscles can. The key is to have strong glutes, which for the purposes of the PC muscles, which means squatting, something the Bradley method emphasizes as an essential exercise. According to this article the best way to treat abused kegals, from bearing the weight of the pregnancy and delivering the baby, the best way is to do ten kegals when squatting so that length as well as tone are achieved.

Basically I think that the Bradley book is an essential basis for understanding and achieving natural childbirth.

Stressed out kids

This week has been very stressful. I got nothing done as far as housework, and we are practically living in filth. But Monday through Wednesday we we in the car almost all day. The first day was supposed to be a day of fun, it just turned out to be two very long car drives with a  lot of waiting in the car while my husband bought some stuff for work. He didn't have fun either. The sales people just took forever to wait on him.

The next day we had a valentines party in the morning, then shopping immediately afterward. My number 2 pulled a shopping cart down on top of herself and bruised her arm pretty well. We followed that horrific trip with a trip to the grocery store. A few hours later we went to my grandpa's wake and got stuck in traffic. We were in the car for 3 hours, just on the way to the wake, making us two hours late.

Then on Wednesday was my grandpa's funeral. We had a beautiful mass and burial. At the luncheon following, my children had so much fun playing with their cousins. Too much fun, they ran around and around laughing and having fun until number 1 and number 2 threw up. The people at the banquet hall were really nice about it, and at least it happened on the dance floor and not on the carpet.

Then we went home. We decided that now was the time to relax for the first time in days, when we were welcomed by a call that my husband's grandmother had passed out, and was now fine, in the hospital having tests done. As far as we know she is ok. They are still unsure as to why she fainted.

I was expecting the get the week on track today. When I woke up I was so tired. So I didn't start my morning routine and my number 2 was complaining about feeling cold and achy. She didn't have a fever. She ate breakfast. After a little while it occurred to me that my kids might be just as spent as I was. Sometimes I forget that children have a breaking point too. They are very resilient and usually a good night's sleep fixes all the woes of yesterday, but I think this time they needed another day to release. So I decided, maybe for my own benefit as well, that today was going to be minimal. I made play dough, which was a stressful activity in an of itself, and then set the kids to play with it. They have been quietly playing for an hour and a half.

Hopefully tomorrow we will be able to get back on track. But today was a minimal day and I think it's better that way.

The Birth Box

I some how didn't realize that some people may actually want to know what a birth box is. Or at least what I call a birth box. Basically it is all the stuff needed for the birth, other than emergency medical items that will be brought by the attendant. I'll tell you what is in my awesome birth box that I am so proud of.

• Trash bags,                
• lots of towels (i'm having a water birth so I need extra),    
• wash cloths,
• underpads,                 
• plastic dish pan,                                                                       
• depends,                              
• plastic drop cloths,  
• inflatable birth pool,                                                             
• flannel sheet,                       
• cord band,                  
• bulb syringe,                                                                         
• paper tape measure,            
• peri bottle,                
• born at home birth certificate,                                         
• disposable foot printer,           
• pool thermometer,     
• water hose,

two ziplock bags: 1with pink blanket and hat the other with blue, a ziplock bag with 4 cloth diapers + a blue diaper and hopefuly a pink diaper 

birth plan, and birth supply check list.

I know what each item is used for so I better understand what my midwives will be doing when the baby comes. I'm working with them, and they are working with me. Our goal is to safely bring this little baby into the world.

33 weeks let the birth prep begin...

I have decided that now is the time to get in gear gathering my birth supplies and getting ready for the arrival of my 4th baby. I have been thinking about the things needed for my birth looking at my birth supply list, starting to create a birth plan, planning the things that will be needed before and after labor and birth. It has occurred to me that 'normal' women probably don't do everything that I'm going to do. They get ready for the baby and postpartum, but do normal people prep for labor?


So anyway I will have a birth ball, a birth pool, a list of acupressure points, a set of very comfortable clothes, a top to wear in the pool (most likely a sports bra), food, popsciles, and vitamin water. Also I'm going to have aroma therapy this time. I'm thinking clary sage, myrrh, and lavender.

The one issue I having been having is picking music. I cannot decide what I want to listen to. I want something that will relax me, but I don't like that new age music they use for yoga. I really don't know what to pick. The stuff I like to listen to, I just can't imagine listening to through a contraction.

Although I don't think they are a big deal, there are a couple downsides to birthing at home. The house has to be clean, the dishes have to be done, and someone will have to clean up the mess that results. The waterbirth is very easy to clean up we've discovered. We line our birthing pool with a plastic drop cloth. Then after the birth we drain the pool into the garden. Wrap up the liner and throw it away.

Any way that's what I've got for now. I'm really excited about creating a great labor experience.

The last time I took my kids to the store

It has taken me a couple days to really process what happened the other day at the store. I didn't want to go, but we needed food, and I had missed my oppurtunity to go in the morning before my husband went to work. So I tried to think of people who would watch my kids for me, but I felt to guilty to drop them on anyone with out warning.

We finally arrived at the store at 2:30. We had accomplished nothing all day, and my only hope was to get out of the house and finish this task so we could try to get some stuff done afterward. Anyway, we are now at the store and I explain to my 5yr old that when I take them to the store it takes twice as long as when I go by myself. I ask him to please control himself so we can get out of here fast. Thus our adventure begins.

I grab a cart in the parking lot so I an efficiently get into the store. However, every cart has broken straps. Well I figure speed is the key let's just risk it. I plop the tot (#3) and the three year old (#2) in the cart and we walk quickly into the store, and then I notice my pregnant bladder is full and I got to go bad. I'm not going to because bathroom at the store with the three kids is just too chaotic and takes way to long, so I ignor and move on.

Enter the cereal isle, with fruit snacks. My #2 screams because she wants a different flavor of fruit snack than the one everyone else wants, and she doesn't want the flavor of cereal I suggested. We move on and my oldest (#1) realizes that he has forgotten his cheap plastic toy story ring in the cereal isle. He goes and thankfully finds it and now we are in the canned tomato isle. My #2 insists on sitting on the edge of the cart with her feet dangling. I'm against it, but we need to keep moving, I don't think it is worthwhile fight. While I'm trying to decide on the best pasta my #1 very loudly exclaims, "She peed on the floor! She peed! I think she did, Mama. I'll check," smells the puddle on the floor. "Yes, it's pee!"

Some how, after many stops and starts involving that cheap plastic ring, we are in dairy, when the tot has had enough, and she stands in her seat and screams for down. I mean SCREAMS. She left her shoes in the car so I can't put her down except I do because while she is screaming the middle child slips off the cart and falls on the floor. A lady witnesses this and is saying, "Oh my God. Oh my God." I run to see middle child, who is fine, with a tiny scrape on her elbow, but is crying out of fear and a little pain, and thus the tot gets away and peels down the isle. How I wish I had a cart with buckles.

Ok now we are all together, reasonably calm with two walking children. I attempt to get in the check out when #2 lags behind to look at something and while this is happening a lady slides in and takes my spot. What the heck? really? I should have stayed right there and let my #3 scream and annoy her for cutting in front of me, but instead I wanted to leave. I thankfully found another line that was moving and everything is going great until I check out, and I need garbage stickers and the cashier missed things my #3 was sitting on, so I go to the service desk.

The line is long, so I decide to self check out the couple of items I missed and get cash for the stickers. While checking out, #2 decides she is bored and leaves. She disappears. The first time I have ever freaked out for a missing child, because I have no idea where she is or why she is gone. As I'm coordinating with a cashier as to how to find her, I spot her in between the doors. I get everyone together, and we still have to wait in line at the service desk. When I get home I find out I was charged $17 a pound for $1 a pound tea. Yay, I get to go back... alone.

Humility

There are so many things to discuss today. I think I'll talk about humility.

You the Catholic Church teaches that Mary was perfect due to her Immaculate Conception, celebrated today, and her complete submission to God. She was completely humble. And today I begged for help keeping my kids quiet today, from the Blessed Mother. I think instead she gave me a lesson in humility.

Now I have been making bad choices this week. I keep leaving the gate open to the kitchen which has aided the toddler in dumping water from the water jug, dog bowl and the toilet brush. I chose to try to focus on Christmas shopping yesterday mornign that provided a very messy house and miserable kids. Today I chose to sit in the front at Mass.

As my son tromped to the front row today, I was debating whether it was a good idea. I really wanted to sit upfront. I think it is the most encouraging way to have my children participate in the Mass. My son is able to see everything, and he is very close to the tabernacle. These things I believe are really important to his understanding of the mass, so I figured everything would be fine. I was wrong.

My toddler was doing ok for the beginning of mass. She was a little squirmy, and she complained a bit but she seemed to be reasonably quiet. Then she decided that she no longer wanted to be by me, she no longer wanted the pew, she no longer wanted to be quiet, and I as I tried to keep her quiet she got louder and louder and threw a tremendous tantrum right during the most solemn part of the mass, keeping me stuck in the pew out of reverence for the Blesses Sacrament.

As soon as I was able I gathered my stuff and took my screaming toddler with my 3 year old to the back, leaving my five year old behind because he would not pay attention to me. the was a woman who came to the back and asked if I needed any help, and I lamented that my son was left behind. She kindly told him to come to the back, and to my horror, I saw him running down the center isle.

So now everyone knows without a doubt that yes my children are loud and everyone had it brought to their attention as I tried desperately to remove myself to the back. I am not a perfect mother, and I'm sure there were so many bad thoughts coming my way. I am very sorry for the huge disruption. I am completely humbled.