Saturday, January 26, 2013

Catching up the over view

Thanks to my dear friend Renee, I feel inspired to blog!! But I really have been remiss in my blogging so I feel like doing a quick run down of my feelings and experiences for about the last month. We'll see where this jumbled mess of thoughts ends up.

First I have been going through some major stress, in comparison to the rest of my life. I would have to say only junior year of high school was more stressful than now, and I'm not even sure if I can really compare the two because real things, not the stress of peers and fear of being a social outcast, are what's doing me in now; however although more tangible, I guess real and tangible and not even close synonyms, more real these problems are, the more joys I have and have because of them.

I have four awesome kids that have increased the amount of love, life, and joy I experience. And these awesome people and the one in heaven, have cause me great amounts of stress, joy and sorrow. And I am pretty sure that I am a better mother now with four than I was with one. Better that I love more, I am more patient (believe it or not), and yell less (at each individual child, probably yell more on the whole). I treasure my moments with my kids more. I hope that I will be a better mother with 8 than I am with 4 and a better mother of 12 than of 8 (Shhhh don't tell anyone about the 12. I look crazy enough already).

I'm still on the stress thing... Stress caused by my weight, weight from my last baby. I just can't lose. Exercise and dieting might work, but I'd have to stick to it for more than 5 days, and I just can't.

But then I read an awesome blog by Renee,
She talks about going paleo, well not actually paleo (which I will never!!!!! do) but giving up grains and dairy, something that I would never have considered before reading her blog. She not only gave encouragement to the person, who feels as though they would die from lack of bread and dairy (ie myself) but also tells the foods she used to cope with it. And my, my they sound good.

So now I think maybe, I should try this giving up grains and dairy thing. But then I would have to give up coffee. That sounds horrible and good at the same time. I could put coconut milk in my coffee, but my sister found out that it screws with progesterone levels. Since I have miscarried, and I could theoretically be pregnant at any time, this freaks me out a little. So to start a diet without coffee... To be suffering without both that would be a sacrifice, and forcing myself to eat meat and vegetables without cheese... Seems like a good Lenten offering.

I guess I didn't get to the overview but next time...