Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Unselfish reasons to choose (or have by accident) more than one child

I was taken aback about six months ago, when a woman I know told me, having more than one child is selfish. I know that I shouldn't take that personally, even though she knows that I have three and intend to have more. But instead of getting mad at this professional mother (her words), of one infant, I began to reflect on her statement.

I think I might agree with her that having more than one child is selfish, if my child were a pet. As much as we like to congratulate ourselves on giving a pet a loving home. The real reason we get them is to make ourselves happy. We get a creature that loves us and is there for us to cuddle and love objectively. We love it for how it makes us feel, we do not love it for it's own self worth, its virtue or for what it is. If that was how I felt about my child, then yes, having more than one would be selfish, because I wouldn't be contributing anything to society except one more mouth for the state to feed.

Just  a little digression here. I am not saying that having a pet is bad. I love animals, and I have had two dogs and a cat, so I offer no disrepect to pet owners.

The way the vast majority of people, the ones who don't abuse their children and keep them in cages, regard their children is as people, who they love regardless of what they are, who they are, or how they are. Infact as parents we love and find joy in our children because of these things. It's the hard times that makes you love your kids more. And not for your sake. It is because you do, and because of their sake. We love our kids because we know they need to be loved, and that is our job, and it is not easy.

So I have compiled a list of reasons it is not selfish to have more than one child:

My children have permanent playmates
They learn social skills with children of different age groups every single moment of every day
They will never be alone, unless a freak accident occurs and kills every person in our family except one.
If said accident occured, I had a lot of siblings so they still wouldn't be a lone they would have cousins, they have grown up with.
When they are adults they will have people to lean on that they know better than anyone else.
Their children will have cousins, that is if two of them have kids and this becomes more likely with the more kids I have.
I use cloth diapers, and dump poop from them in the toilet and then wash said diapers
I change diapers
I listen to people complain about kids
I listen to my kids complain about everything
my house constantly needs to be cleaned
I need to make meals for a family of five
 fold laundry for said family
I take my kids to the store instead of leaving them home alone to fend for themselves (after all they are 5,3,1)
It is not always fun to take them to the store
and the list goes on.

But the reason I choose to be open to more children, and desire it is because of the first reasons on the list. Also because I love them. My love increases with every child. I love my husband. Our love is so great it needs to procreate. It can not be contained, because with every child, we love each other more. The more love is created the more it creates. Procreative love. Love that knows no boundaries.