How to Breastfeed

When I had my first child I did not know how to nurse. I am a very independent person, and I think that I can just figure things out as I go, but somethings are difficult to do if you were never taught. My mother breastfed 7 kids, most until 2 or 3 years old. My sisters breastfed their kids, and my sister-in-law breastfed hers, so I thought breastfeeding would be easy and come naturally. It didn't. I had no idea what I was doing, and to make it worse, I didn't seek out help from my sisters until a terrible latching habit was already formed.

 The truth is, as much as I was exposed to breastfeeding, I never experienced it the way  that women in other cultures experience it. I never watched a baby latch on, at least not since my mother nursed my brother when I was four, and that had hindered my ability to latch a baby right. A lactation consultant can help you and tell you what to do and how to do it, but if you don't see it, I think it's pretty difficult. Unless the lactation consultant has experienced nursing herself, I think she is at a huge disadvantage.

I have 4 children. All have been, or in the case of my newbie are, nursed. From my limited experiance here are my suggestions.

1. Use a nursing pillow. This will be a lot easier if you don't have other kids. Sit up straight propped with pillows (on a bed or feet up on the couch) and sit cross legged. make sure your back has a lot of support and then snug that nursing pillow around your waist. Then have someone hand you your baby. Have some extra pillows handy you may need them.

(optional) This may seems silly but it will help with bonding, take off your shirt and your baby should be in only in a diaper with warm blankets to wrap him to you. The skin to skin contact will help you bond.

2. Cradle the baby's head in the crook of your arm, and turn his body so that his tummy is touching your tummy.

3. Lift him up to your breasts. ( At this point your baby should be cradled his tummy against your rib cage right under your breasts) The nursing pillow helps with this. Prop more pillows under him and/or under your arm, if you need to, for comfort.

4. Hold your fingers in a V, first and middle fingers. (It's common to do a C hold with finger and thumb, if that's more comfortable use that. I just found the V hold more comfortable for me) Hold your nipple.

5. Use your nipple to gently push your baby's bottom lip down to open, then pull him on to your breast getting the entire areola in his mouth. Always bring baby to breast not breast to baby, this is something I did not do with my first, which is one of the reasons I had such incredibly painful breastfeeding run. 23 months of varying degrees of painful breastfeeding.

Repeat step five until baby's latched on to complete nipple and the latch feels 'right'. I know it's hard to tell if it's right with your first. There should be a general lack of pain, though you might have initial pain if you're nipples are cracked or sore. olive oil and coconut oil are good treatments. Lactation consultants and doulas know of other things that might work even better.

Once Breastfeeding becomes more reflexive you wont need to do this in such an elaborate way. All you will have to do is sit, lift, and latch.

Who is the Perfect Mother?

You may have guessed from reading my previous posts that I am a complainer. When I think of Mother's day, I think of a mother who is kind, patient, never complains, and is always sacrificing herself for her children. I realized, after being a mother for 7 years (I count being pregnant as being a mother), that not only am I none of those things, that there is only one person who perfectly fits that description.

Today we honor mothers. They are deserving of honor, not because of what they do, but because of the unique vocation given them by God. God has glorified motherhood through Mary. He chose her as the means by which salvation was born to the world.  He could have chosen any way for Christ to enter the world, but he chose Mary. He created Mary for this particular purpose.

So not only because of Mary, but especially because of Mary, the perfect mother, we honor mothers. A mother was chosen to help redeem the world from sin, both original and actual. Mary is the New Eve. Eve brought us death and Mary brought us life, not just earthly life but life in Christ, and Christ gave us Mary as our spiritual mother.

I am hardly the mother I envision mother's day honoring, but I will accept the honors given to mothers today, not because of me, but for the sake of honoring the privilege of being a mother. This vocation is justly honored because God has honored it in a unique way.

Today I look at my children. I thank God especially for them. I thank God for the sweet baby lost to me. Without these five miracles, I would not be a mother. I would not be like the Blessed Mother. I aspire to be like her more. She is the perfect description of mother's day.

Delivered on Land?

I finally had my first dry birth. It was completely unintentional.

On Wednesday, I woke up at about 5 in the morning with some strong contractions. They were painful enough that I had to concentrate on relaxing to deal with them. I knew that even if I was in labor at this point the best thing to do was to try to sleep as much as I could, for the contractions could stop, and, if they didn't, I would need as much energy as possible. I got up and took a shower at 7 to see how my body would react. My contractions kept on, somewhat erratically. I called my Certified Professional Midwife, who works with my Certified Nurse Midwife, at 7:30 to let her know what was happening. My contractions were about 10 minutes apart.

Every birth is different. This birth my contractions, even in early labor, hurt very badly, so perhaps I was already in active labor. I follow a pseudo Bradly approach to labor. I just try to relax all my muscles as I contact.

 I cleaned my kitchen. I made chocolate chip cookies. Then I decided that standing in the kitchen was just not the way to deal with contractions. and I sat down. In retrospect I would have filled the pool at this point. I had 3 wonderful water births with my other kids. For some reason I was still worried that the contractions would slow down or stop.

Contractions were still about 9 minutes apart. At that point my contractions were so painful that I was coping on my hands and knees. Karen decided to call Christina the CNM. We know at this point something is going to happen. We are thinking it will happen in the next couple hours. I had a contraction, then went to the bathroom, had a contraction in there, came out and had another contraction.

Hands and knees. My husband was trying to fill the pool, but he kept running into problems. I thought I heard him say that he was going to just start filling the pool with buckets. My contractions were so painful at this point that I started to think that I wouldn't be able to do this for another hour. I asked to get in the water, but the pool didn't have water. I was stuck almost immovable on the floor. Now the pain was so great that I felt nauseous. I asked for a bucket, in case I needed to throw up. My good friend Erin mentioned later that I was probably going through transition. It was so caotic that no one at the time thought anything of my nausea. I sure didn't.

My contractions had gone from erratic 6-9 minute intervals to 1-2 minute intervals in 2 minutes.Then, I'm still on my hands and knees and fully dressed, my water breaks. I panicked! I was not expecting my water to break even though I was in so much pain. What flashed in my mind was that usually when my water breaks I'm already pushing the baby out.

Now I had to push. I needed to. Karen tried to help me get my pants off, and I couldn't move because of the contraction. Some how we got my pants mostly off, and I pushed hard and kept pushing until the baby's head was out. Karen told me to stop pushing and to wait for another contraction. It took all my concentration to stop, and it wasn't for long. When I started pushing the shoulders out, I wasn't sure if I could take the pain, but I knew I couldn't stop. I had to finish.

Karen caught the baby. She declared the baby a girl. She passed my baby to me through my legs and had me lay down. All I could think was, thank God! I don't have to have another contraction.

What was different about delivering on land, so to speak, as opposed to the water, was that my contractions near the end were closer together and way more painful, and my transition time was so much faster than any of my waterbirths. That could have been this birth, but I know that water tends to ease contractions and lengthen birth times. Also my bottom was sore for the first time after a birth, and I never felt sore before, not even when I tore the first time I gave birth. This was a great birth. I still prefer to deliver in water.

The Bradley Method (seems to be right on the nose)

I have never taken a Bradley Class. In fact, I have never even been tempted too. I bet I could benefit from it, but honestly I just don't like things like birth classes. I much prefer to do things myself, and quite honestly, that does tend to mean they are not done as properly, as they would have been if I had had the instruction.

All this being said, I do think if someone wants to have a natural birth, they should take a Bradley Class. Actually I think they should definitely take one if they are having a hospital birth. Only because the instructor will be able to guide you to having a natural birth in the hospital, which is very difficult, even in hospitals that claim to do natural births.

To a doctor natural could mean a lot of different things. It could mean delivering without an epsiotomy. It could mean delivering without pain medication. It could mean birth starts on its own, without induction. But to me and to the Bradley people, and to the community of natural birth people out there, natural child birth means birth that starts, continues and ends the way it has since before women started to use doctors for delivery. Meaning a birth that begins on it's own. The mother labors in the way she feels most comfortable, but never flat on her back (never!), standing, walking, maybe in a tub, on her hands and knees rocking back and forth. Then delivering the baby in several different positions (never with her feet in stirrups) such as: reclined 45 degrees, on her knees, on hands and knees, on her side, standing, or squatting. Then the baby comes out without assistance, in most cases but not all, and the mother then is immediately able to hold her baby, with the cord still attached. And in many cases the mother can breast feed immediately, which can facilitate the expulsion of the placenta.

Back to the Bradley Method. When I was pregnant with my first, I read Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. It formed my first perceptions of childbirth. Then I had my baby and found that not everything I read happened the way the author said it would. So although I was still greatly influenced by it, I kind of let it fall to the way side of my brain. Then as I had more children, and learned more about childbirth, and talked to more people, I found something amazing. I have realized that Bradley got it right.

If you read the book I read, the author goes through the physiology of child birth, how to prepare for it, and then discusses how to deal with childbirth. The physiology is scientific. I goes through everything your body does and the baby does during childbirth, things that I have only affirmed through out the years in separate research. Then I encountered the hypnobirthing fad. Hypnobirthing is not the same as the Bradley relaxation method but it's the same idea, concentrated relaxation while contracting. It works. People rave about hypnobirthing.

Finally we reach the kegal. Kegals are important for many reasons, which are explained in the Bradley book as well. If your pelvic floor muscles, also called PC muscles and kegal muscles, are properly toned, your delivery will be better, and you will be more comfortable through out pregnancy and through out your postpartum life. Also it will prevent uterine prolapse, and incontinence, things that affect women as they get older. There are people out there that don't care about the kegal muscles and there are people who are insane about kegal muscles and do kegal exercises excessively. I read a fascinating article today call Why You Should Stop Doing Kegals. It explains that the muscles need to be toned and the correct length, not super tight. doing excessive kegal exercises could cause the same problems as having flabby undertoned muscles can. The key is to have strong glutes, which for the purposes of the PC muscles, which means squatting, something the Bradley method emphasizes as an essential exercise. According to this article the best way to treat abused kegals, from bearing the weight of the pregnancy and delivering the baby, the best way is to do ten kegals when squatting so that length as well as tone are achieved.

Basically I think that the Bradley book is an essential basis for understanding and achieving natural childbirth.

Stressed out kids

This week has been very stressful. I got nothing done as far as housework, and we are practically living in filth. But Monday through Wednesday we we in the car almost all day. The first day was supposed to be a day of fun, it just turned out to be two very long car drives with a  lot of waiting in the car while my husband bought some stuff for work. He didn't have fun either. The sales people just took forever to wait on him.

The next day we had a valentines party in the morning, then shopping immediately afterward. My number 2 pulled a shopping cart down on top of herself and bruised her arm pretty well. We followed that horrific trip with a trip to the grocery store. A few hours later we went to my grandpa's wake and got stuck in traffic. We were in the car for 3 hours, just on the way to the wake, making us two hours late.

Then on Wednesday was my grandpa's funeral. We had a beautiful mass and burial. At the luncheon following, my children had so much fun playing with their cousins. Too much fun, they ran around and around laughing and having fun until number 1 and number 2 threw up. The people at the banquet hall were really nice about it, and at least it happened on the dance floor and not on the carpet.

Then we went home. We decided that now was the time to relax for the first time in days, when we were welcomed by a call that my husband's grandmother had passed out, and was now fine, in the hospital having tests done. As far as we know she is ok. They are still unsure as to why she fainted.

I was expecting the get the week on track today. When I woke up I was so tired. So I didn't start my morning routine and my number 2 was complaining about feeling cold and achy. She didn't have a fever. She ate breakfast. After a little while it occurred to me that my kids might be just as spent as I was. Sometimes I forget that children have a breaking point too. They are very resilient and usually a good night's sleep fixes all the woes of yesterday, but I think this time they needed another day to release. So I decided, maybe for my own benefit as well, that today was going to be minimal. I made play dough, which was a stressful activity in an of itself, and then set the kids to play with it. They have been quietly playing for an hour and a half.

Hopefully tomorrow we will be able to get back on track. But today was a minimal day and I think it's better that way.

The Birth Box

I some how didn't realize that some people may actually want to know what a birth box is. Or at least what I call a birth box. Basically it is all the stuff needed for the birth, other than emergency medical items that will be brought by the attendant. I'll tell you what is in my awesome birth box that I am so proud of.

• Trash bags,                
• lots of towels (i'm having a water birth so I need extra),    
• wash cloths,
• underpads,                 
• plastic dish pan,                                                                       
• depends,                              
• plastic drop cloths,  
• inflatable birth pool,                                                             
• flannel sheet,                       
• cord band,                  
• bulb syringe,                                                                         
• paper tape measure,            
• peri bottle,                
• born at home birth certificate,                                         
• disposable foot printer,           
• pool thermometer,     
• water hose,

two ziplock bags: 1with pink blanket and hat the other with blue, a ziplock bag with 4 cloth diapers + a blue diaper and hopefuly a pink diaper 

birth plan, and birth supply check list.

I know what each item is used for so I better understand what my midwives will be doing when the baby comes. I'm working with them, and they are working with me. Our goal is to safely bring this little baby into the world.

33 weeks let the birth prep begin...

I have decided that now is the time to get in gear gathering my birth supplies and getting ready for the arrival of my 4th baby. I have been thinking about the things needed for my birth looking at my birth supply list, starting to create a birth plan, planning the things that will be needed before and after labor and birth. It has occurred to me that 'normal' women probably don't do everything that I'm going to do. They get ready for the baby and postpartum, but do normal people prep for labor?


So anyway I will have a birth ball, a birth pool, a list of acupressure points, a set of very comfortable clothes, a top to wear in the pool (most likely a sports bra), food, popsciles, and vitamin water. Also I'm going to have aroma therapy this time. I'm thinking clary sage, myrrh, and lavender.

The one issue I having been having is picking music. I cannot decide what I want to listen to. I want something that will relax me, but I don't like that new age music they use for yoga. I really don't know what to pick. The stuff I like to listen to, I just can't imagine listening to through a contraction.

Although I don't think they are a big deal, there are a couple downsides to birthing at home. The house has to be clean, the dishes have to be done, and someone will have to clean up the mess that results. The waterbirth is very easy to clean up we've discovered. We line our birthing pool with a plastic drop cloth. Then after the birth we drain the pool into the garden. Wrap up the liner and throw it away.

Any way that's what I've got for now. I'm really excited about creating a great labor experience.